By the time you finish reading this, it’s possible passion won’t seem like a real word to you anymore. I know writing it so many times has had that effect on me.
I have a lot of passion. I don’t usually put much stock into astrological signs, but as a Sagittarius, I really do feel that fire inside me. When I feel something, I feel it strongly, intensely. There are plenty of things that are extremely important to me.
One of the things I feel most fervently about is the individual’s choice. As a cashier at a gas station, I encounter a variety of people in different stages of life. Yet, there seems to be a common theme. They feel trapped, stuck, and miserable. They feel as if there is no way out of the vicious cycles they have created for themselves. The passion lies in trying to convince these people that is untrue. They have infinite moments of choice. I feel that we all have control over our lives, and that we should all strive to execute it. To sit idly by and watch the years pass us is the greatest tragedy.
When I meet strangers, they are quick to open up to me. I have a strict “no bullshit” policy. I am usually pretty good at reading people, and if I determine them capable of handling harsh truths, I don’t hold back. Plenty of nights spent working have been mini therapy sessions for people who once were total strangers. I get excited and animated when I am convincing these people of their personal empowerment. I try to get them to remember a time they believed they had control. I ask them what it is they don’t like about their lives or themselves, and I ask what they think they could do to change those things. I can’t say I’ve ever changed someone’s life. I don’t know if I have. But I have seen the light come back into someone who was moments before dimmed and down.
I am passionate about learning. I always want to discover new things. I spend a lot of time listening to podcasts. Most of the podcasts I listen to are true crime. There is something absolutely fascinating about the worst things that happen in life. As an empathetic person, I try to get into the mind of serial killers. Sometimes, it is not so hard to understand how they got where they did in life. The stars all aligned in such a perfect way. Don’t get me wrong, I would never excuse the actions of these people, but I particularly enjoy “picking their brains.” Other podcasts I find myself interested in are usually about self improvement. Learning how to tune into yourself and the world around you. Breathe in, breathe out.
As of recently, I’ve developed a fondness for yoga. It all began with a 30 day challenge. I don’t even know how I managed to stumble upon it, but in January of this year, I completed Yoga with Adriene’s 30 Days of Yoga. It was transformative. I know that seems like such an exaggeration, but a mere month of moving my body with my breath daily truly changed a lot for me. Since then, I’ve felt passionate about it to the extent that I recommend it to anyone who will listen. Maybe I have a problem with being preachy. The thing is, I’ve just experienced so much personal growth and love in the past year, that I can’t help but want to give that gift to everyone I know. If you’re reading this, give yoga a try. I suspect you won’t regret it.
Another thing I can tend to be preachy, and passionate about, is the keto diet. I’ve already had a blog post detailing my experience, but I feel stronger than ever that I’ve made the best decision for myself by tackling a low-carb diet. Every day, I discover new recipes to keep me on my toes. I experience the benefits of cutting out most sugar from my life every single day. I am still steadily losing weight, getting closer to a healthy BMI. Not only that, but I believe beginning a keto diet was my key to getting into health and fitness in general. If not for keto, yoga would not exist for me. When I was younger, I slept all the time. I would go to bed as early as possible, sleep until the last possible minute, and I would still end up sleeping in most of my classes at school. Sometimes, I’d even have to take a 20 minute nap before going to work after school. After graduating, this problem became worse. I found myself sometimes sleeping 18 hours a day. I simply could not get myself out of bed. Now, I know this could be attributed to many things, depression included, but keto has totally fixed this problem for me. No more highs or lows. I always have energy at the ready. I sleep for a maximum of 9 hours a night. It has essentially given me my life back.
I feel passionate about sharing life as openly and honestly as possible. I want to be a light to anyone who may come across me. I want to have relationships that are not knee-deep. I want to know people and for them to know me. I want to grow old knowing that I did everything I could to be honest to myself. To honor myself by telling my stories. I think it is absolutely heartbreaking for a person to live a life shrouded in mystery. The people who their children know nothing about until they’re dead and the kids go through old shoe boxes. I don’t want that to be my reality. I want anyone who wants to know me to really know me. With that being said, I don’t want to waste my time and energy on people who don’t care to know me. This is probably where boundaries come in. I don’t want to be an oversharer, so to speak. I don’t want to spill my guts to an obviously disinterested audience. Still, I want to be know and be known.
What is your favorite color? How far have you come? What was your favorite stuffed animal as a child? When is the last time you mowed a lawn? Have you ever been to Jamaica? What are you most proud of yourself for? What is the most important thing for people to know about you?
These questions may seem inconsequential, but I will never tire of asking them. There are so many layers, so much depth, that every day life can bury. I want to know who you are, what you believe. I want to know pieces of you that you didn’t realize people would care about knowing. My passion lies within the sharing of these experiences. We are all human. We all know things someone else doesn’t. We have much to learn and much to share. I could spend my whole life digging for these answers. To be human feels like magic. I don’t want to miss any piece of it.
This, I suppose, leads into the last thing I feel quite passionate about: helping others. I spent a year working at an assisted living facility. I enjoyed it more than most anything I’d ever done. Working with people is so important. I felt as if I got to know the residents on a personal level. To be the last leg of a person’s journey is such an honor. I learned so much about life and death in that short year. I learned that I had been looking at “old” people wrong for far too long. They’ve had entire lives! Those 80 and 90 year olds used to be 22, getting married, picking out houses, having kids, going on trips, discovering themselves. They have likely thought thoughts I’ve had. They’ve faced hardships and pain alongside brightness and joy. Every moment they thought would surely be the end of everything, wasn’t. They made it through everything leading into that point. Every single decision they’d ever made in life had ultimately led them to meeting me, and me them. It feels divine, and I thoroughly enjoyed every moment of it.
Even the ugliest moments. The moments of cleaning up poop and vomit. The moments of showering an old man. The moments of discovering the lifeless body of a woman you had just seen hours ago when you helped her into bed. The moments of fear and pain. The moments when a man had lost his mind and was seeing people in the shadows. Every single moment I spent with those people was a moment I truly cherished. It felt incredibly important that I be there for them. That I care for them as if they were my own family. That I truly hear them when they speak. That I offer them a glimpse of hope when they feel hopeless. How cool is that? I think these feelings are precisely why I’m beginning nursing school in a month. I cannot wait for my career to be centered around helping people. It is the most perfect decision for myself.
As I’ve written all this out, I realize that a lot of my passions are connected. I love helping people. I love taking care of myself, and suggesting things to others. I love recognizing the mundane beauty of life. The fire within me aspires to be a light to all others who know me. I hope if you’re reading this, I can be a light to you. I hope you can let me know a bit of who you are, too. Life is too short to hold it in.
