For basically my entire life, I have struggled with staying healthy. My parents didn’t teach me proper habits in my early years, and it wasn’t long before I was consistently the fattest girl in my class. It was always a source of shame and insecurity. I didn’t like the way I looked. There were many moments where I downright hated who I was, inside and out. Even when I would attempt to implement a workout routine or new diet, my mindset would prohibit me from making much progress.
My relationship with food was an extremely unhealthy one. Not only did I eat until I physically couldn’t, but food was a source of emotional comfort. As a teenager, I was inactive, preferring to spend most of my time at home on the internet. I drank copious amounts of soda, all day everyday. There were many days that passed where I drank no water whatsoever. There was a period of time, from 5th to 7th grade, when I ate fast food 5 out of 7 days a week, because my family was not in the habit of making dinner at home. Any other time, my diet consisted of frozen meals, canned foods, sugar, and soda.
Sometimes, more than others, my weight would really begin getting to me. It was around these times that I would be suddenly invigorated and inspired to diet or exercise. Usually, I would announce to my mother that I wanted to go on some diet. I’d ask her to buy me healthier foods from the store. I’d announce my plans to work out every single day. Maybe I actually would work out for a day or two. However, it never lasted long, and the changes I wanted didn’t happen. It would kind of spiral downward too. The longer I went without changing myself, the more I disliked myself and wanted to change. Years passed in this way, and I reached my highest weight of 230 pounds my senior year of high school.
After graduating, as I’ve mentioned many times before, I ended up living in my car and traveling the country for a year or so. The last leg of my journey took place in Florida. Zach’s birth mom lived there, and we were able to stay in her spare bedroom for extended periods of time. It was an easy place to be. It must’ve been February of 2017 when I walked into a Winn-Dixie. In the entrance, there was a scale. It had been months since I’d seen one, and I knew I had lost some weight due to my clothes fitting more loosely, but the number I saw shocked me. I was down to 190 pounds. Somehow, I had lost 40 pounds without even trying. I felt high on life, and proud of myself.
Yet, I didn’t really deserve that pride. I was so focused on the weight loss that I had totally neglected health. The reason I had lost so much weight was because there were some days my only meal was a Polar Pop and bottom shelf whiskey. Other days, my only meal were the leftovers I asked a stranger for. Others still, my food for the day was a pizza fished from a dumpster. Another huge contributor to my weight loss was the fact that some days I walked 5 or so miles. I had minimal calories, and more activity that I had ever experienced. This point in my life was the peak of my unhealth, but that number on the Winn-Dixie scale gave me the illusion of health.
Some things went down in Florida that ultimately led to me deciding to break up with Zach and come back to Indiana. In March of 2017, I returned home grudgingly. I immediately returned to my old patterns. Most of my time was spent sitting in a red recliner in my bedroom. I would stop by the Ricker’s for my daily Ricker’s Pop. I ate very sporadically, and when I did eat, I consumed too many calories regularly. Imagine my surprise when I gained those 40 pounds and then some right back. How could that be? I was extremely disappointed in myself, and I realized something had to change.
It took quite a while, but I finally began looking into what a healthy diet looks like. I realized that even if I did decide to begin working out, nothing would change if I didn’t change my eating habits. Around this time, I met my current boyfriend, Josh. He himself was experimenting with different diets for health reasons. Together, we began eating a mostly raw, vegan diet. Initially, I did notice some improvements. I didn’t count calories, but I figured since I was eating generally healthier foods, I was improving. Still, the food I ate was full of carbs and sugar. I lost 10 or so pounds from the switch, but there I stalled.
I continued the vegan diet on and off for about a year. Still, I dug deeper, looking for other options. It was around this time I kept hearing the word “keto” being thrown around. I didn’t understand it at all in the beginning. I figured it was just another fad diet people fell for but ultimately isn’t sustainable. It wasn’t until May of 2018, when I began having seizures as a result of a car wreck, that I began taking keto more seriously.
For those of you who don’t know, Keto is a diet that focuses on lowering your carb intake and increasing your fat intake. After doing so, eventually your body will stop using glucose for energy, and use fat instead. This is called ketosis.
It started slow, but I cut soda from my diet. I tried to drink mainly water, tea, and coffee. I found a lot of different recipes online. I would make bread using eggs and almond flour. I ate a lot of meat and green vegetables cooked in oils. Eventually, I learned more and realized that I needed to supplement electrolytes. When your body is in ketosis, you lose all of your water weight, and as a result, your body doesn’t hold on to potassium, sodium, and magnesium in the same way a carb-fueled body does. I ordered a gallon water bottle online, and began making “keto-aid” with powder forms of the electrolytes. Initially, I relied on artificial sweeteners pretty heavily. I would make modified desserts using stevia instead of sugar. It really worked well for me.
I ended up getting a ketone blood meter. It works in the same way as a glucose meter, but measures ketones instead of blood sugar. Using it, I was able to tell when I was and wasn’t in ketosis. Eventually, though, I learned my body well enough to be able to tell without the meter. Keto has really worked for me. It has helped me tune in with my body. I feel much more energetic. I have broke ketosis a few times since beginning. Every single time, I realize that the diet I used to eat exclusively causes me active pain and discomfort. It causes me to feel bloated, foggy-minded, and sluggish. Within an hour of eating a meal similar to those I used to eat ALL THE TIME, my heart begins to race and I can feel my blood pressure rising. It baffles me that I was so out of tune with my body before, that those things happened regularly and I just thought it was normal.
Keto has irrevocably changed my life. Since beginning, I have lost 50 pounds, more than I lost from practically starving myself on the road. I am in the best health of my life. Not only that, but I finally have a healthier relationship with food. I don’t feel the urge to eat mindlessly. If I am not actually hungry, food isn’t appealing to me. Beyond that, I have learned the benefits of fasting and intermittent fasting. It has really outlined the addiction to sugar and food I used to have. I don’t view things in terms of just weight loss anymore. It’s not about being thinner, it’s about being fitter and healthier. As a result, I’ve began making even more decisions to increase my health. I’ve taken up yoga. I follow YouTube videos from my living room. I try to walk daily. Before the virus hit, i had a membership at a gym and was going 3 times a week. It’s safe to say that I feel better these days than ever, and none of these changes likely would have occurred if it weren’t for learning about keto.
I know keto can sometimes receive a lot of hate. It goes against everything we were taught about food. However, it has been a game changer for me, and I don’t think I can ever truly go back to how things were. I try not to be too preachy, because I know what works for me won’t necessarily work for everyone. However, I’ve been becoming more and more passionate about the effect of a Standard American Diet on our health. This topic could be a blog post in itself, and I do hope to talk more about it in the future. The short version is that a lot of people are eating in a way that is harming them, and it is encouraged by our society and advertisements. I have finally taken control of my relationship with food, and I want nothing more than for everyone else to experience that.
The past few years have been a journey of self improvement for me, and I don’t see it stopping any time soon. I plan to continue documenting the changes I implement in my life. I would love to hear of any similar stories, or what has worked for you.
