Growing up, “Matilda” was my all time favorite movie. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve seen it. In the kitchen of the house I grew up in, the table the kids ate at was tucked into the corner. A little TV with a built-in VHS player sat upon it. As we ate, we would pick a tape to put in. Long after our food was gone, we would sit on the stools watching movies. When it was my turn to choose the movie, I always chose “Matilda.” I didn’t know it at the time, but I likely felt a connection to Matilda.
Matilda was a young girl born into a family that couldn’t quite appreciate her. She loved to read in a family that encouraged watching television for hours upon hours. At six years old, she still had not been enrolled in school. She begged her parents to be able to go. There, she thrived. She was clearly at the top of her class, and her teacher, Miss Honey recognized her gift right away. The same could not be said of Miss Trunchbull, who found bullying kids to be one of her favorite sports, second only to shotput. Meanwhile, Matilda’s crooked father was getting closer and closer to getting the law laid upon him for selling faulty used cars. Her family paid her no mind, and they certainly didn’t recognize her brilliance.
Eventually, under pressure, Matilda discovered powers beyond intellect. She could do magic with her mind. She could make things move without touching them. It took time, but she was able to hone her skill and use it to her advantage. Miss Honey, once again, was the only person able to see how magical Matilda truly was. As the police cracked down on Mr. Wormwood, Matilda begged her family to do one good thing for her and let Miss Honey adopt her. In a frenzy, her parents signed the papers and Matilda was left to live happily ever after with Miss Honey.
As a child, I dreamed of finding my own Miss Honey. Someone who could see me for who I really was and show me the love I so craved. I wished for magical powers and the ability to escape from the childhood that had been tough to get through. I would have no such luck, but I always used reading as a way of escaping, a lot like Matilda.
I can’t tell you how many books I’ve read. As an adult, it has slowed down significantly, but from middle school onward, there was always a book in my hands. There were times I stayed up until 3 a.m. on a school night so that I could finish the book I couldn’t put down. As the world around me ebbed and flowed, my books remained a constant. I was particularly drawn towards dystopian novels that portrayed futuristic, bleak worlds in which the protagonist would have to rise above evil to save the world. I loved the idea of empowering oneself to save themselves. You can’t count on others to do it for you.
I definitely got my love of reading from my mother. I remember, when I was growing up, my mom would always have her nose in a book. The pages would fascinate me. I would ask, “Are these how many pages you’ve read or how many you’ve got left?” My mom’s response of, “that’s how many I’ve already read,” would always astound me. I thought she must be the most incredible woman ever to be able to read such long books so quickly. Little did I know that I would have that ability myself some day.
So Matilda has always had a special place in my heart, and recently, my local school’s theater put on their own production of Matilda The Musical. I went with Josh and my friend Alina and her crew to watch the charming musical. It differed in ways from the movie. The musical is actually a British production, so all of the (very much not British) children talked in British accents. They danced and sang their little heart outs. We found out later that the girl who played Matilda’s best friend, Lavender, was actually acting in more professional level plays in Indianapolis. I had such a good time, laughing at the children, and seeing my favorite story portrayed in such a different way.
As I watched the musical, it occurred to me that I still have not read Matilda. I felt like such a trader to myself. Being so intimate with the story and being such an avid reader, it seems like a no-brainer that I would have ended up reading it at some point. Yet, for reasons unknown, it never happened. Josh even bought me an entire set of Roald Dahl’s books last year or the year before. Still, Matilda sat upon the shelf waiting for someone to come along and crack open the spine.
The time finally came. After the musical, Josh grabbed the book from its shelf and put it on the coffee table so that it would be in the front and center of my attention. One day, I picked it up and I read the first chapter. I was immediately drawn into the way Roald Dahl writes. It was witty and had me laughing out loud at points. However, I was in the middle of reading a book that my friend’s Great Grandpa wrote about spending a summer in prison for something he didn’t deserve to be in prison for. The end of the semester was fast approaching, and I felt morally obligated to finish reading my friend’s book before reading Matilda so I could return it to her before Christmas break.
There Matilda sat, on that coffee table, for another few weeks. Until finally, I reached for it one day, and I didn’t put it down until I reached the last page.
I think the thing that surprised me most about the book was how little focus there is on Matilda’s magic powers until the book is already half over. When I watched the school’s play, they portrayed it similarly. Matilda didn’t exhibit any signs of magic until the day that Miss Trunchbull wound up with a newt in her water. In the movie, however, Matilda discovers her powers while concentrating very hard on the television her father (Danny DeVito) is forcing her to stare at. The TV explodes, and Matilda knew that she was somehow responsible. Alone, she worked to perfect her powers. In the book however, Miss Honey finds out right away, and she is the one that guides Matilda.
All in all, it was such a treat to finally read the original story that has been near and dear to my heart for as long as I can remember. Reading it filled me with a lot of joy, and despite knowing the story like the back of my hand, it still kept me on the edge of my seat, waiting for what came next.
The final connection I have to Matilda is the song Harry Styles released on his latest album. From the very first listen, I was hooked.
“You can let it go,
You can throw a party full of everyone you know
And not invite your family
‘Cause they never showed you love
You don’t have to be sorry
For leaving and growing up”
The first time I heard the song, I was brought to tears. I haven’t looked into what exactly Harry Styles was writing about, but the song feels as if it were written for me. I was so looking forward to hearing him perform it live in Chicago, but as circumstances would have it, I had to sell the tickets I had somehow managed to buy. I have to avoid videos of his concerts online because they make me feel a bit sad.
I still think my time will someday come, but until then, I’ll have the song to jam out in my car to. I’m oddly grateful that Matilda, the book, movie, and song have grown to mean so much to me. In a way, I’m still in search of my own Miss Honey, but as I grow older, I realize that I’m a lot like her, myself. No longer am I a child cowering in fear from Miss Trunchbull. I am a grown, capable woman who stands up for those who need standing up for. If that means standing up for myself, then so be it.
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