Exciting Things are Happening

Read to the end for an exciting announcement!

This semester of nursing school is coming to a close. I have only a couple of weeks of classes left before finals week. The pressure is on. This is my first semester taking the finals that are created by ATI. ATI is essentially a company that makes a bunch of different preparation materials to help nursing students pass the NCLEX, which is the board exam to become a Registered Nurse. The questions are written in a tricky way, and often, more than one answer feels correct. The whole idea is to choose the MOST correct answer. I have heard stories of students doing absolutely fine in their fundamentals of nursing class, but when they took the ATI final, were totally unprepared and ultimately failed the entire class. The professors have been drilling it in our heads to read the entire Fundamentals ATI book front to back, which is no easy feat. Needless to say, tensions are high, and we’re all concerned about our ability to pass the class.

If I do pass, though, I will be halfway through my nursing program. This milestone has been one I’ve looked forward to. It makes the daunting task of becoming a real nurse seem more feasible. At the beginning of my four year program, four years felt like an eternity. Yet here I am, chipping away at eternity, bit by bit.

Exciting things have been happening for me lately. I’ve been getting out of my comfort zone and jumping at opportunities a different version of myself would never have thought to. For example, last weekend, I traveled to Cleveland with my school’s Honor’s program. The Mideast Honor’s Association holds a conference annually for honor’s students to show off their work, whether it be research, creative writing, or posterboards. Originally, there were extra spots, and I was going to go just for the experience. I had no intention at all of presenting anything, since I did not feel I had anything worth presenting. A little later on, however, it was revealed to me that I could present poetry. That felt like something I could actually do, so I enthusiastically submitted my poetry to be considered for a slot at the conference.

It was a bit terrifying. I had no idea how many people would be there. Would I be presenting to a room full of a hundred people? Or worse, would there be only one or two, making it an intimate matter. Being totally and utterly out of my comfort zone, paired with the element of not knowing what to expect, well it was enough to drive me crazy in the hours leading up to my presentation. The trip to Cleveland, however, contained more than just a conference. We kicked it off at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, where there’s currently an incredible exhibit on The Beatles. The next day, before the conferences began, we explored downtown Cleveland. From the beautiful library to the lakeside, it was a charming little city. Friday afternoon, the conference began. I sat in one presentation room before it was time for my own. The “round table” discussion was about unethical journalism being portrayed in fictional works and what kind of impact that has of people’s expectations about real journalism. To say the least, journalism is not how it is in the movies. It was an interesting and thoughtful presentation, and I feel it eased my nerves of presenting my own work.

The time came, and I was standing in front of about 20 people. I feel like that was a good Goldilocks number of people. Still, my voice was a little shaky. I introduced my poems, letting the audience know that the content was emotional and therefore made me feel quite vulnerable and exposed. But that’s the point of art, isn’t it? Exposing yourself to the world so that maybe one person can connect with your message and not feel so alone in their experiences. I read 3 or 4 (I lost track) poems to my audience, who really seemed to hold on to what I was saying to them. Afterwards, myself and the two other people who had presented poetry in that hour sat at the front of the room and accepted questions. There were many thoughtful questions about poetry in general, specific parts of our poems, the writing process, emotion, etc… The comment that stood out to me, though, was that of a young lady. She directed her comment to me. She essentially said that one of my poems really stood out to her. She wants to one day work in the medical field and my poem about the over-prescription of drugs when alternative therapies are probably available reminded her exactly why she wants to be in the profession. She thanked me for sharing my poem, because it was thought-provoking and gave her an inside perspective of perhaps a future patient of hers. It meant a lot to me that this lady went out of her way to tell me that. Before I left for the conference, I was telling my friend Grace how nervous I was. She told me, “Maybe reading your poems will have a positive impact on one single person hearing them.” That’s all it takes to make a difference. To reach the ears and mind of one single person and impact them in some way. Grace was right.

After my presentation, I felt incredible. It went so much better than I could have even imagined for it to. People approached me afterwards and told me they appreciated my poetry. It was enough to give me a big head, but more than that I simply felt honored to have had the opportunity to share myself with others in a meaningful way.

The rest of our trip consisted of finding a karaoke bar, walking 21,000 steps in a single day, and finally, the drive home in our packed mini van. All in all, I was gone 2 nights and 3 days, but I returned home a slightly different version of myself. A version that is a bit less afraid of opening up. A version that is a bit more excited to share her vulnerability with the world especially if it means another human being can connect to that vulnerability. It was an amazing experience, and I could not be more grateful.

~

Another extremely exciting thing happening in my life became official a few days ago. My friend Alina and I, before I left for Cleveland, recorded a podcast together. When I got home, I made the final edits, and it went live on Spotify. That moment was pretty surreal. Alina and I have been talking about making a podcast for at least 2 years. We went so far as to occasionally record ourselves talking at a Chili’s with a recording app on my phone. It never reached fruition though, until now. My fiancé Josh very kindly assisted us with setting up a microphone in his little bedroom studio. He explained to us how to use the equipment, and how to adjust the volume so that it did not sound like we were screaming to our future audience. Then, we sat down and had a simple chat.

Our podcast is called Might as Well be Your Mother. If you’d like to know the origin of the title, you’ll have to follow our podcast on Spotify and wait for the future episode in which we will explain it. For now, it’s a simple podcast of two friends having a chat. We have no idea what eventually will become of us, but I am extremely excited to see what comes of it. If you choose to listen, keep in mind we are not professional podcasters (yet), so there are still some issues we are working out with audio. Regardless, in the same vein as my poetry, it feels incredible to be able to share myself with people who may be interested. It’s extremely nerve-wracking, not knowing what the response will be, but it’s exciting all the same. This blog has been a therapeutic avenue for me to learn about myself and grow from my experiences, and I hope that our podcast will be similar.

As always, thanks for taking time to read my blog. It means a lot to me that there are those of you who stop by for each and every post I make. Until next time…

Listen to our podcast here!